The Gift of a Friend

I feel like a lot of the time people take for granted the people we have in our lives. We don’t truly appreciate those around us. So this is for the friends that I have that I am oh so thankful for. If you’re lucky you will find someone and right away know that they will be in your life forever. I have met four people that I know will be with me until the day I die. I don’t tell you guys enough how much I love you and appreciate you guys. Carly, Emma, Ilana, and Ana… You guys will forever be in my heart. I appreciate everything you all have done for me and I’m so excited to live life loving you guys. So here’s to so many more adventures with the four of you. Thank you for loving me and being wonderful friends.

Sorry for the appreciation post but they deserve to be shown off to the world because they’re great!

Mistake(s)

Mistakes.
We all make them. Looking back at our mistakes is so hard because we know we cannot go back and change them. We cannot go back in the past once something horrible happens and change our decision. You’re stuck. You let your mistakes eat at you until you can barely breathe. Knowing that life was supposed to be different. It could have been different. You didn’t have to end up like this. You could have made another choice and things could have worked in your favor. But because of that one tiny mistake, your life takes a toll. Because of that one choice, everything else is effected by it. Like dominoes. And it sucks, because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. No rewinding the clock. No changing it. You are stuck because of one wrong decision. A lot of the time you may be able to fix it. Not change it, but fix it. There are some mistakes, though, that you will never be able to fix. It will forever pain your heart. It will make you lose your sanity. When you are going to make a decision, think long and hard about it. Because whether you choose to believe it or not, it will have an everlasting effect on your life.

He Is The Light That Leads Us Home

Recently I have felt very distant from the Lord. My Younglife leader helped me realize that these are the times we need to reach out to Him even more; these are the times we need to pray and ask Him for guidance.

For those of you who do not know me on a personal level, I have had an ongoing struggle throughout my life in believing someone that I cannot see. It used to be hard to believe such a great higher power would let everything that I have gone through, well, happen. I have struggled to accept that Jesus is all man and all God. I recently came to know Christ two years ago and it has been the best thing to ever happen to me. This does not mean my life is in order nor very enjoyable all the time. This does not mean all my prayers and every wish are granted. This does mean I have a friend. A friend that will listen to me whenever I need Him and make decisions to my prayers that may not be what I wanted but is what is in my best interest.

To know that the God of the universe is not only my Father but my friend makes me oh so joyful. I get to talk to him whenever I want. He’s seen me at my worst and at my very best. You will never find a better friend.

As I was saying I’ve felt very distanced from Him the past few weeks – but what is so great about this is that I have noticed how lost I have been without Him. Life is much greater when we rejoice in the Lord.

So I want to note that when you feel like you have gone astray or maybe you are questioning your faith, go to HIM about it. You can go to your friends about it, I actually recommend that, but it is not the same, fulfilling feeling you get when you speak to Him. You can go to alcohol and try to drink away the pain you’re feeling, guess what, that’s not everlasting. You can go to a boyfriend/girlfriend but they will never love you as much as our Savior does. Go to Him. This is the man who raised a man from the dead. This is the man who stood up for an adulteress who was about to get stoned to death. This is the man who had dinner with with a man that we would consider “a bigger sinner than us”. You have 24/7 access to this man. He is your father, He is your friend.

Run to Him, don’t be afraid.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”     Joshua 1:9

Young Life: my favorite starter pack

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Yesterday, as I was scrolling through Twitter, I came across this:

Before I continue, I must tell you this: I thought it was a little funny. Senseless? Probably. A little rude? Yes . . . but 90% of my twitter feed seems to be a little irrational and judgmental–during football games, during elections, and then about Sunday through Saturday. I am not angry. In fact, I laughed out loud (literally) when I read this. I do not think our friend, Rich Homie Yuan, is stupid. I also do not think he is “brilliant” or “spot on” like so many people who replied to this tweet. Honestly, I chuckled because I used to be Mr. Yuan.

I disliked Young Life for a very long time. I thought it was hypocritical. I thought it was pointless. I thought the people were fake. I sometimes thought it was for the weak or the inferior…

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[temporary] HEARTBREAK

As teenagers, a lot of us start dating. It can be so great and exhilarating. You get to know someone who may have been a friend or maybe a stranger like the back of your hand. The two of you get to experience so much together. Although this is all so great, dating ends in one of two ways- marriage or breakup. Recently I was in my first real serious relationship. We were at it for a little over a year. One day something just changed. When you realize that things are no longer the same, it really hurts and you know what’s coming next. After a breakup, it’s really hard to get back to the old you.

  The places that you used to go to together, you can no longer go because memories come flooding back. The hundreds of pictures you guys took… going through and deleting all those off of your phone, well that’s the worst. When you realize that his friends that you loved, well they are HIS friends. You close your eyes and there they are. You dream about them. You are heart broken.

Although this feeling lasts a while and it just straight up sucks {there’s not really a nicer way to put it} I promise one day we will be okay.

I was roaming twitter a couple days after my break up and saw something i loved that i want to share, it goes like this;

God says, “the reason some people have turned against you and walked away from you without reason, has nothing to do with you. It is because they cannot go where I am taking you next. They will only hinder you in your next level because they have already served their purpose in your life. Let them go and keep moving. Greater is coming.” Says The Lord.

   Yes it hurts now and it probably will for a while but think about what wonderful person God has planned for you to spend the rest of your life with. Someone is going to love you with all their heart and try to give you the world for most of their life. So when memories are flooding back or you’re tempted to text or call them, just remember, one day you are going to find better. One day you will be okay. This is one of Gods many promises to us.

Little Brother//Best Friend

At the beginning of the school year my contemporary literature teacher asked us to find a photograph that means a lot to us. I went home, ruffled through my photos and scrapbook and just one stuck out to me. My teacher said I should share it with the person it was about, I’m going to do one better. I’m going to share it with the world. So here it goes:

My picture is on a five by seven sheet of photo paper with a matte’ finish. The two children pictured are my youngest brother Joshua and I. He was about three and a half. I was five. This photograph was taken at our grandparents home, whom I now live with, apart from Josh who lives with his mother (my adopted mom) and our step-dad.

We were so happy, my brother and I. So ignorant and oblivious to the hurt that lay ahead. Smiles, big and as bright as the sun on a mid-summers eve. It was a hot summer day in fact. Sitting in our matching baby pools, mine purple, his blue. I can’t forget our matching pool innertubes, mine pink, Josh’s green.

This photograph is special and close to my heart because no matter how much we claim we don’t like each other, we really love each other. We’ve faced many hardships together like dealing with my biological family, his parents divorce, and his mother and step-dad moving around. Not to mention our two other brothers are much older than us so we can relate to each other the most. I can at least. Josh is so smart and no matter how much we argue, he is kind and deep inside he has a soft side. I’m lucky enough to have seen it a couple times even though it’s rare. He is not only my little brother, he is my best friend, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.